Crap
on a spatula –to quote Noel Coward, it’s been a veritable arse of a week…however,
as Big Dave, my Slovenian fans and Ethel Merman know - the show must go on!
I
had the good fortune to go to an actual, honest-to-God cinema last week to see Derek "Dezzie" Cianfrance (great name!)’s latest offering “The Place Beyond the Pines”
featuring two of the biggest sets of muscles (both acting and physical) in
Hollywood: Msrs. Bradley Cooper, aka “the Coops” and Ryan Gosling aka “Gossers”
(his fans will be known henceforth as “Gosser’s Tossers” – no judgement, I
think he’s tremendous)
Now,
Gosser’s Tossers will be a little disappointed as Gossers himself only appears
in this film for about 20 minutes of this, what seemed like, seven hour epic.
Cianfrance brings us a modern father/son drama, worthy of 19th
century literature, minus the servants and tea. Brief summary: Gossers is a ne’er
be good motorcross circus stuntman who, unbeknown to him, has knocked up another
local bicycle, Eva Mendes, during his past season at the “Carnie”. On
discovering the fruit of his loins, he decides to turn his life around and make
some money to provide for his son. Due to his poor CV and lack of unpaid work
experience (I feel his pain) he decides to gain some sure fire cash by robbing
banks.
Despite this excellent career move, it backfires when he forgets his
sunglasses and downsizes to a cheaper bike which does not provide the right
speed of getaway that he has formerly been accustomed to. He gets busted by the
Coops who shoots him in the head by a mistake. Blood everywhere, beep sound on
the monitor, curtains closed. Shucks mate.
The Coops is also shot in the thigh
but, you know, gets over it in the way that only the Coops can - through
masculine good looks and tortured facial expressions. Once the viewer has
recovered from his physical beauty, we learn that the Coops has a son who is
the same age as Gossers, thus setting the scene for cracking rivalry which will
take place when these two sons find themselves at the same high school 16 years
down the line. There will be drugs, more police stations, corruption, family
tragedy, divorce, guns, football jerseys and even a hint of political office –
who could ask for anything more?
Was
that the worst film plot summary ever? Well…check out some of the corkers on
imdb.com and then let me know.
Jokes
aside, the cinematography is magnificent. One really feels the line between
this film and Cianfrance’s last offering ‘Blue Valentine’. The performances are
brilliant and surprising, particularly that of Bradley Cooper who perfectly
captures the notion of a man who is isolated from his family through his own
guilt and convictions about a fair and just society which evidently does not
exist in the often corrupt surrounds of the police force. The minor characters
are brilliant as Cianfrance creates a rich tapestry to accompany the
arrestingly beautiful scenes of the wilderness of Upstate New York. The weak
link is Eva Mendes – no surprise there. Looking forward to Cianfrance’s next
offering of banging modern day Americana.
Orange
Wednesday permitting, I will manage to see Michael Winterbottom (great name)’s ‘The
Look of Love’ or even catch some of London’s Sundance Film Festival which
starts today (if I’m not mistaken) What will you guys be seeing?
Until
next time…
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